Relentlessly tracking what makes celebrities so special and how you can buy it more cheaply.  Famous styles: Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson and her bodacious bod soared to fame on Barbie-blond wings when she was just 19. She had a couple platinum and gold albums, married a dreamy boy-band singer, and sealed her place in the pop-culture lexicon with a reality show that documented the first few (and as it turns out, only) years of her marriage to Nick Lachey. 

Since then our bright-eyed heroine has had a some setbacks: The fairytale marriage fizzled, the hits didn't keep on coming, and Jessica was (gasp!) photographed slightly exceeding the Hollywood weight limit (100 pounds, no exceptions). After getting her heart trounced by a string of high-profile actor-musician-whatever types, she found a steady man, this time a dreamy quarterback, but even that has problems: his fans think Jessica's bad luck at games.

What's a girl to do? Well, for starters, she can walk tall and carry a big bag. Jessica Simpson's line of shiny shoes and roomy totes will help any woman get through her own version of being photographed by In Touch magazine wearing unflattering jeans. Apply her pluck to your own life and be thankful you never said you thought Buffalo wings were actually from buffalos.

Did John Mayer dump you? You'll look fantastic walking out of his life and into the nearest limo in the Milla boot.

"Wonderland" was okay, but they don't call him John Player for nothing.

Pop music career not treating you right? Switch over to country crooning with the Hyde Large Hobo.

Big dreams need a big bag and a Texas girl is more Nashville than L.A. anyway.

Are your boyfriend's fans booing when you come to games? Next time the Dallas QB takes you on vacation to Mexico right before an important playoff game, let the paparazzi catch you in the Carsi sandal .

Hey, it's really not your fault that you're so distractingly beautiful that your boyfriend can't concentrate at work.